lets talk steroids

A while back I said lets hope I never have to get on steroids again. Well I am tapering off of my fourth round. I started them for the fourth time on Halloween and I will be done MONDAY:)
My face got massive this last round. don't believe me? just ask people in my ward. I have had many comments on my lovely fat face. Some that have stuck out are like this..
- The lady puffs her face nice and big then says.. "you must be on steroids"
- Another lady said "oh Melissa, did you get your wisdom teeth out?"
Yes, I did get them out on the third round of steroids but it was two months earlier lol
- My cousin who hasn't seen me at all with a fat face came for Christmas. He saw me and was totally shocked. He said "wow you look like you should weigh 300 pounds" then continues to touch my face and ask if it hurts... its water weight! lol
It is a good thing I know this fat face is not forever. I have lost a little of the water weight recently and it makes me beyond happy. I can't even describe how happy it makes me.
The steroids have other effects than just the water weight.
They make me super depressed (anxiety meds have helped a ton!). I have found myself hiding out in my room for a day or ignoring people for no apparent reason.. I do not like the person I am while on the steroids. I am soooo excited to be done and begin to be Melissa again :)
I had another colonoscopy recently and had the biggest scare but with my husband, family and doctor right by my side I keep fighting this crap. It has made me a stronger girl thats for sure. One thing that has kept me going is my dream to be a mom. When things get hard and I just cry and cry I just say to myself that I need to keep going to get my body healthy so I can be a mom!!

Thank you Kellen for being there with me through it all. He is an amazing husband! He takes care of me every single day and doesn't ever complain even when it feels like I have been sick our entire marriage.
Thank you family for being there for me to support my decisions. Thank you mom for going with me to my doctor appointments and helping me understand my own disease.
Thank you Edward (my doc) for allllllll he has done. He is the best doctor!!!