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Wednesday, August 16, 2017

baby makes 5

 This pregnancy was just like all my others. difficult. At 24 weeks I started to have contractions. We and my OB decided to do IV fluids daily to keep me hydrated which kept contractions down. I was also put on mild bed rest. which is as hard as it sounds having two kids.
At 29 weeks I started to bleed vaginally. My OB and maternal fetal medicine doctor (who I was seeing once a week to check cervix and twice a week for non stress tests) was concerned about the cerclage (placed at 13 weeks) tearing my cervix.
with having ultrasounds once a week we were checking to make sure my cervix wasn't shortening and that baby was growing. baby was growing at 4%. Good blood flow but still very small. which was new for my pregnancies.
We had plans to take out my cerclage at 34 weeks (June 16th) due to the bleeding.

June 8th was just an ordinary day. I was staying down as much as possible but noticed that baby wasn't moving. I tried sugar drinks and tootsie rolls while laying on my left side and doing the kick count. I would feel maybe two moves in one hour but not big kicks like I was used to. I was feeling nervous since this baby was usually a wild thing. I had an appointment for NST the next morning and kept thinking I could just wait till then to make sure the baby was ok. I kept laying on my left side and trying to feel movement to comfort my decision. I wasn't getting that.
I decided I was going to go into labor and delivery. Its not like I had not already been in there 5 other times this pregnancy, whats one more time?
Baby's heart rate was not accelerating at all. They watched for a while and then sent me over to get an ultrasound to see baby's fluid and movement. They have a scale of 10 and the baby got 2/10. The 2 points were for good fluid. They did the ultrasound for THIRTY MINUTES straight and saw not one movement or practice breath from baby. not one! The OB on call was so kind to me. He kept telling me that we might have to deliver the baby tonight but he would let my OB give the final say.
They called my OB and he said that we had to deliver TONIGHT and that he was on his way. I lost it. I have not set foot in the NICU since Kohen was in there. (Hadley was in there but only for 24 hours and I was not able to go down due to recovery) The on call OB told me to call Kellen to come since this baby was coming asap. I kept crying and apologizing for crying so much. He kept telling me that I made the right decision for my baby coming in that night, which made me cry more. He kept saying "your husband will be here soon" and looked very uncomfortable. The nurse came in to move me to a delivery room and admit me. She left me in the room to get dressed. My phone had died earlier, right after I had told Kellen to ask my parents to watch Kohen and Hadley and to get to the hospital. I went into the delivery room to change and decided to call and make sure Kellen was close. He didn't answer (not a surprise) so I tried my mom's phone to make sure he had left. I cried and cried talking to her. I could hardly talk. Having a premature baby is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I didn't know if I could go through it again emotionally.
They opened the door and asked if I was ready to go. I had not even changed yet! They couldn't do the work fast enough. before they even had blood work done the room was prepped and ready to go. I went back and got all numb before Kellen came back. The C-section went great even though I wasn't expecting to feel so much pulling and tugging on my body. They were able to put up a clear drape so I could see them pull baby out! When they pulled the baby out I heard crying (I have never had a baby come out crying before) My OB put baby up to the clear drape right by our faces and Kellen announced it is a GIRL! 3 pounds 4 ounces of perfection.
Kellen and I had boy names we agreed on... but girl names we had two different lists. They took me back to the delivery room and Kellen came back in after going to the NICU with baby girl to make sure everything was ok. My mom showed up! She came and waited outside while Kohen was born to come in and be with me when Kellen went with him to the NICU right after birth. She realized a while after Kellen had left that this would be the same thing and she needed to be there for me.
I didn't want to tell anyone the gender till we had a name. But we ended up telling her if she promised not to tell anyone. We got our list of names out and started to discuss which ones we could agree on. Kellen's name he loved was Paisley.
The names I loved were Brightyn and Holland.

We kept discussing it and I told Kellen we could nickname her B and he was SOLD!
I felt like I had been through so much in such a short amount of time I was a bit emotionally drained. I felt like my body was in a bit of shock. I kept telling Kellen I wasn't sure if it was her name. I was so convinced she was a boy that I was needing to let it sink in that she was a girl and that she was already here before naming her.
As we visited her more and more I knew she was our Brightyn. 



 meeting her big brother and sister for the first time. (not how I pictured it)






 Brightyn stayed in the NICU for 2 weeks and 2 days. She was a little rockstar. She took a bottle the day she was born! She kept growing and eating all her feedings. She came home at 3 pounds 15 ounces. SO TINY! It was so special being back with all the nurses who saved Kohen's life, took care of Hadley and now got to take care of Brightyn. We have such a special place in our hearts for these men and women. I could never thank them enough for the work they did. because of them I am a mom to these 3 perfect kids.
We all love this little girl more than I can say. She has brought such a sweet spirit to our family. Some days I just cry holding her. Knowing that she started out as just a tiny embryo and is now our sweet baby Brightyn.